Beer Haiku

First year in College
BUD, reason for my stomach
Give me a Bud Light

Froth bubbling over
A lot like my libido…
She looked like a girl

I did twelve keg stands
Until she got attractive
Damn you, beer goggles

Lacking social skills
Mutter nonsense at barman
Down that wicked foam.

Beer is really gross
Only nasty fools drink beer
Vodka is better

Tasty Amber Stuff
Has made me gain tons of fat
but damn it i’m drunk

Nectar of the Gods
Hops, Barley, Wheat, Alcohol
Thank You Lord, thank you

liquid nourishment
how I love my vitamins
healthy as a horse

Beer in the shower
lather my skin and my mouth
beer every hour

i loathe existence
carbonated ambrosia
help me end this life